What is the Reverse Christmas?
  • It is one of the 4 cornerstone holidays of the Witnesses. On the winter solstice, we plant a Christmas tree instead of cutting one down. If you live in an area where December is not the planting season, the tree shall decorate thy house until the planting season for that year.

Are your congregations boring?

  • Not at all. We have fantastic and educational stories and if that fails - mojitos.

Should I optimize my life to reduce environmental damage?

  • Not strictly. Human life, ingenuity and experience (your own and others’) has much value in our religion. Witnesses optimize for human experience divided by environmental damage metric. This is similar to how GDP per metric tons of CO2 is now the established metric to determine how decarbonized a country’s economy is. In other words, we do not forbid eating steak, we only ask that you eat streak only when you really want to. Otherwise, have a more environmentally friendly vegan meal. We do not frown upon driving to Tahoe, but we ask that you carpool with folks when you do so as to double the experience for the same amount of environmental damage.

How do I optimize this weird metric? Like how do I know how many cows is my flight to Peru worth, so I know how many steaks I can eat versus travel?

  • Fear not, we’ll develop a cow to flight calculator shortly. In the meantime, volunteer with us (cause it’s fun), try to live closer to work or telecommute (enhances your experience and reduced environmental damage), bike on shorter journeys, carpool whenever you can on longer journeys, attempt to reduce your meat consumption, and get yourself informed on climate change mitigation policies being considered. We can help:


Why are you a religion rather than a philosophy or a lifestyle? You don’t even have a deity or mysticism of any sort.

  • There have been religions with many gods, with one god, it is now time for a religion with no god. Besides, there are many ways to define religion. We are a multi generational concept which looks to adjust a way of thinking and add a slight expansion pack to our moral framework. We seek to help our followers answer questions such as “why are we here?” (to create and explore human experience in perpetuity) and “how should I live my life?” (optimize for human experience divided by environmental damage metric). Our purpose is not bestowed upon us by a deity, but is rather chosen. We have regular congregations, rituals, holidays, and one day sunday schools to teach the future generation about the wonders of the natural world, how infrastructure and agriculture work and where the opportunities are for doing more with less. There was not a more fitting concept to label this other than religion.

But wait, do you have a creation story?

  • Yes, our creation story is the currently accepted story in the scientific community. Fear not, our religion is over the air updatable and so the creation story changes as new evidence is discovered.

An emissary or a messiah?

  • Not a messiah, but we have a vocation to work towards the day that environmental damage is incorporated into our economic and legal system in a way that the right decisions can be made by all without having to be a subject matter expert. If you like your emissaries & messiahs personified you can call him Bob The Carbon Tax. Of course this is too simplistic, but a step in the right direction followed by other emissaries yet unknown.

Heaven and hell?

  • Heaven: a world with stable weather and plentiful biodiversity. Hell: the inverse; including food and shelter uncertainty and various mitigation strategies to reproduce ecosystem services that we’ve lost. Heaven and hell are not something that an individual experiences after death, but rather our and future generations’ collective fate. In practice, we’ll land somewhere on the spectrum, where exactly, however, is up to our political will and ingenuity.

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